Thursday, September 27, 2012

Does our need for self-worth become self-destructive?

We all have empathy in us. At some precise moment where it may be harrowing i.e. war, people will sacrifice themselves for their fellow human beings. My all-time favorite T.V. series was Lost; a captivating show that stirred the imagination where a host of random strangers who were stranded on an island seeking one common goal: How do we get out of here? Each episode showed the best and worst of our human actions.

By far, my favorite character was John Locke (played by Terry O'Quinn and a damn fine actor) who was a man who came from a deeply troubled past, as the viewer came to realize with many other characters. They were all flawed just like us. Before coming to the island, he was a supervisor for a box distribution company. He hated the mundane life, had difficulty settling in relationships, and often in his cubicle prison (same here) at work, he would study maps and show others his passions for safari adventures. His coworkers mocked him for wanting to venture out into the vast unknown, become a survivalist, and use all the skills he learned to be one with nature. Sadly, John was bound to a wheelchair after a heated argument with his father led to John being pushed multiple stories from a balcony onto the ground, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down. After surviving a plane crash, he was one of the only survivors who visibly showed a miraculous feat. John could walk again. He could finally be the survivalist and lead a group through the vast wilderness sharing his knowledge with others. He also provided others individually with spiritual and philosophical guidance to overcome those lost moments they couldn't get past in the present. He was a healer.

We're all lost in several snapshots of our lives we wish we could have back. Myself, I wish it had been known by my parents beforehand how a shot said to prevent deadly infections could've also been contaminated with toxins that may have triggered a neurological disorder based on my genetic makeup. I live every day with Asperger's Syndrome. So, I commonly engage with others through awkwardness, being unintentionally blunt, demonstrating difficulties with my motor skills to fit a pin into a small keyhole, and a continous struggle with anxiety and depression. These are all commonly known symptoms that come with this disorder. It's a packaged deal. Take it or leave it. I could sulk in misery each day moping around trying to persuade others to feel sorry for me or do something to create and inspire others around me. I've chosen the latter.

I've had the misfortunes of working in several tough work environments where I was denegrated and humiliated among my peers for failing to understand a concept a superviser had asked me to comprehend. In one of those environments, I worked in what many may consider to be a legalized sweatshop. I look back on those moments and realize those who ostracized me may have been lost in their own moments. Perhaps, they were raised and conditioned differently. They, too, may have struggled with acceptance and a failure to understand what others perceive as simple. Do I look back on these moments? Hell, yes. This is what can happen when you work in a Right to Fire (Right to Hire) state. Bad things can happen to good people who each and every day bring their absolute best only to be told they're not good enough. There's no corrective action or constructive critcism offered. You're just brought into an office with your supervisor and a dopey looking H.R. manager as a witness to be told the litany of reasons why you're fired. This is why I'm adamant about bringing back unions, reintroducing legislation like the Employee Free Choice Act that the late, great Sen. Ted Kennedy co-sponsored, and playing even the most minute role in seeing it one day becomes settled law.

Today, I read a great op-ed written by Rebecca Solnit that was initially posted on TomDispatch and later shared on documentary filmmaker Michael Moore's Facebook page. She shares the same frustrations I do -- continued bullying by our country in areas they don't belong, the murder of innocent civilians that have included women and children from drone strikes, a phony drug war where today more African-Americans are incarcerated than the height of Jim Crow, reckless abandonment for economic development in our most vulnerable communities, continual political system dominated by two parties with corporate interests buying up votes, and a market system that carries the axiom: To the one percent, For the one percent, and By the one percent. With this said, it's understandable and natural who the fall guy is: President Obama.

She eloquently stated in her post, much better than myself, how although we haven't gotten everything we wanted, it's a start to more promising endeavors ahead. We can bicker and complain all we want about not getting everything. We can say we don't live in the utopia we have envisioned. We can act with blatant disregard for what this man has had to confront -- a radical right wing determined to defeat everything he proposes first and serve all of our interests second. Yeah, it's a cruel and unforgiving system. However, we can lose ourselves in those moments we want back or march ahead with our moral strength, courage, and humbled wisdom to continually perfect those mistakes from the past.